I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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