Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
