i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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