Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
