This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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