It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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