im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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