i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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