Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
