I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think i got beer on your cat.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
