explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
