so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
