Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
