Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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