the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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