come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
