sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
