Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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