puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
