Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
