operation have a gay friend backfired
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
