So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
