you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
