Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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