Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
