you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
