his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
