Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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