But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
