I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
