haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
