i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
