you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
