I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
