yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
