Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
