Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i wish my penis had a tongue
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Drunk is a universal language darling
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
