i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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