final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
