when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
