too bad you live with your parents still
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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