O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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