??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i out mim tonsoeep
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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