He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Damn victory sex feels great
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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