Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
