I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
