sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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