I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I will die if light touches me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
