During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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