you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
