I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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