Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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