Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
