meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I want is dick and wine.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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