Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The feeling are messing with the penis
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
