with your own penis?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
