They should really pass out barf bags in church
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
