we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
