There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
