If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
