Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
