Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize