she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
