If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's JV to your varsity
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
