official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
