GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can I color on your dick again?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
