Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize