do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
