That's intense
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I cut my penus on the lid.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
