if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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