I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
