Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
